Embracing and Harnessing the Superpowers of Twice Exceptional (2e) Children
I get it. I am there with you.
I am a parent of a neurodivergent 2e child, and to be blunt, other parents with neurotypical children do not understand.
As a parent with a 2e child, it can often feel… hard, lonely, and lot like stepping into a power struggle boxing ring every moment with your 2e child, which is exhausting. All the “parenting tricks” do NOT work for my child.
Yet learning how to navigate life through the lens of my 2e child has been one of the most rewarding experiences I have ever had.
Common themes with 2e children (not always):
Do not simply follow directions like most other children. They ask why and question the purpose of the ask, and before you know it, it’s another argument over a simple ask (hello, autonomy).
They often struggle in conventional school settings, getting in ‘trouble’ for appearing “lazy” or “disruptive.”
Do not talk or communicate with other children or adults like neurotypical children.
Rarely (if ever) accept “because I said so” and carry on (hello, power struggles).
They often get VERY excited and passionate about a specific topic and cannot give it a rest.
They are often more sensitive to sounds, textures, foods, temperature, and visual stimulation.
Often have MUCH BIGGER emotions and feel deeper than most other humans. (Big melt-downs, anyone?)
They also have exceptional gifts of intelligence, problem-solving skills, and out-of-the-box thinking. They contemplate big world problems and struggle with injustice.
Our family unit does not function like most others; and I have come to really accept this. We do not tread any particular ‘parenting’ path because well… there is no one-size-fits-all parenting method for families with 2e children.
A big problem today is that 2e kids often fly under the radar—because their giftedness can mask their challenges, or their challenges can mask their giftedness so this leaves MANY parents feeling the way I described- alone, frustrated, and at their wits end on how to navigate parenting a 2e child.
I want to clarify that I am not a psychology expert in this category. Still, I am a mother of a neurodivergent 2e child, and I support 2e children in my naturopathic medical practice, so my information comes from these areas of experience.
What does Giftedness and Twice Exceptional (2e) mean and what is the difference?
When I say gifted, your first thought is probably "oh, ya, those really smart kids in school”.
I admit that before I learned about 2e children, that is what I thought, too. The uneducated me thought Giftedness meant smart, dorky, and often misunderstood (because this was ME growing up in the 90s). I was so ignorant to what all of this meant but we also didn’t have the knowledge or recognition for what it all means until the 2000’s.
While giftedness means higher intellectual potential, we have been missing so much more to this picture.
Now, I want to make a differentiation. There are Gifted Children, and then there are 2e and 3e Children. Let’s discuss the differences.
It is becoming increasingly evident that many gifted children, not all, have a co-existing learning difference or other neurodivergent condition, which we now have identified as 2e or Twice Exceptional Children.
The term “twice exceptional” (2e) was coined in the 1990s by educators and psychologists working in gifted education. It came about as professionals began noticing a unique group of students who exhibited high intellectual potential but also had learning, behavioral, or emotional challenges and who were often misunderstood or underserved in both gifted and special education systems.
Before I go on, I want to establish that 2e children are NOT DISEASED OR DISORDERED CHILDREN, and we must change this narrative and perspective. They are GIFTED with brains that work differently from others. How we harness this determines the struggles and/or successes we see as these children develop.
Again, like I said above, A big problem we have today is that giftedness can mask their challenges, or their challenges can mask their giftedness.
That said, we do not look to change or alter their giftedness. We want to HARNESS their giftedness by examining the challenge areas of everyday life and supporting them so that life is easier for these children and their families.
Supporting 2e Children
If you find you are walking this path with me, too, welcome; we can continue to learn together.
Most of the time, parents and educators/caregivers pick up on ‘brilliance and strong personalities’ around age 3-5, but we often cannot truly identify gifted or 2e children until they are challenged along their peers academically in 1st and 2nd grade.
Before I get into the ‘challenge areas’ (because it is too easy to highlight our struggle areas), I want to highlight the strength areas most 2e children exhibit.
Strength Areas for 2e Children include:
Deep curiosity and love of learning
Creative and out-of-the-box thinkers; intense imagination
Often offer unique perspectives to situations; innovators
Advanced problem-solving skills
Strong intuition
Love deeply and are very loyal in their relationships
strong emotional sensitivity to others; empaths
Passionate and purpose-driven
Strong sense of justice and equality
I want you to think about how you may be able to harness one or some of these areas for your child.
Next, I will provide a list of ‘Challenge Areas’. These include many of the diagnoses that gifted children experience, and with any of these diagnoses, this is where parents having a team for their 2e child comes into play to further the success of a 2e child (teachers, principal, doctors, caregivers, and therapists)
Challenge Areas for 2e children include (but are not limited to):
ADD, Attention Deficient Disorder: either ADD- hyperactive, ADD- inattentive type or mixed type ADD
ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder
Dyslexia (reading difficulties)
Dyscalculia (math learning disability)
Dysgraphia (writing difficulty)
Auditory Processing Disorder (APD)
Nonverbal Learning Disorder (NVLD)
Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)
Social Anxiety Disorder
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) or OCD traits
Depression (often situational or masked in children)
Mood Dysregulation Disorder
Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) — though this is often a misdiagnosis of an overwhelmed, dysregulated nervous system
Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD)
Emotional Dysregulation / Explosive Behavior
Sleep Disorders / Insomnia
Selective Mutism (in some socially anxious, gifted kids)
Often, these diagnoses are either already made or suspected when someone comes into my office. If not, my job is to investigate the challenge areas, make the appropriate referral or diagnosis, and start creating a team for the family of all individuals that build a healthy, supportive foundation for the child and family.
Other areas where I find it is my job to RULE OUT as cause for challenges include:
Mold toxicity / environmental sensitivities/exposures
Food sensitivities / gut dysbiosis / leaky gut
Methylation disorders (like MTHFR variants) or other genetic variants
Chronic inflammation or infection / PANS/PANDAS
Low nutrient status such as iron, magnesium, zinc, or omega-3s
Potential Histamine intolerance or mast cell dysregulation
Adrenal dysregulation or HPA axis dysfunction (stress overload)
After making sure we have investigated most, if not all, of these areas, diving deep into:
Diet: is it well rounded and all encompassing of essential nutrients?
Sleep: Is your child getting enough? Is it quality, sound sleep, or does it take a long time to fall asleep? Is it restless sleep?
Movement: Are we getting enough or the right kind at the right times of the day?
Are we on any medications or supplements that are causing side effects or adverse effects, creating challenges in daily living?
Mental Health: This goes along with some of our challenge areas (anxiety/depression), but we need to ensure the family is on the same page and our children feel safe in their environments. Safe enough to express what they feel and articulate it to their safe people.
I also want to highlight that HOW we talk to our 2e kids can make or break a moment or discussion. Are we allowing a space for them to feel and articulate their feelings or are we shutting them down because we are at our max capacity? More to come on this topic!
Stimulation vs rest: Is our neurodivergent child understimulated or overstimulated, or are we getting it just right? This can be a VERY difficult area to monitor and assess if we haven’t been checking in with our 2e kids. We have to become educated parents and then educate our 2e children on how to check in with their mood/energy so they can verbalize when they need a certain type of stimulation or sensory input and when they are reaching their max before experiencing a meltdown.
I sincerely hope this post has been helpful and validating for you. This article is not meant to diagnose another child with another ‘something’ but simply to educate and empower parents who may feel a little lost in navigating parenthood when all the ‘parenting tricks’ don’t work.
When I first read about 2e children, I cried because I knew I was not alone in this journey and had found the answers I was looking for.
In my journey, I have discovered some good resources, so I will provide them here for you as well.
Website/Person: Dr. Danika Maddocks, https://www.giftedlearninglab.com/
Website/Center: John Hopkins Center for Talented Youth, https://cty.jhu.edu/
Book: A Parents Guide to Gifted Children by James T. Webb (Author), Janet L. Gore (Author), Edward R. Amend (Author), Arlene R. DeVries (Author)
Website/Center: Davidson Institute, https://www.davidsongifted.org/
Organization: The National Association for Gifted Children, https://nagc.org/
Website/Person: Lisa Van Gemert, https://giftedguru.com/
Book: Living with Intensity: Understanding the Excitability, and the Emotional Development of Gifted Children, Adolescents, and Adults by Susan Daniels and Michael M. Piechowski
Book: Mindset by Carol Dweck
Here to empower you with the knowledge of health,
Dr. Meg Holpuch
Disclaimer: The information provided on this blog is for educational and informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The content shared here is not meant to replace or supersede the guidance or recommendations of your personal healthcare provider. Always consult your physician or qualified healthcare professional before making any changes to your diet, exercise routine, supplement regimen, or overall health plan. Your health and well-being are unique, and decisions regarding your care should always be made in consultation with your trusted healthcare provider.
